Well, folks, todays post is a little different than most of mine. It's about the advice columnist, "Ask Amy," daughter of the late Ann Landers, who posted an answer to a question in her column a few weeks ago that I considered a real putdown to women over a certain age.
In a nutshell, here is what it was:
The question was: "When I was 20, guys in their late 30s were mad for me. Now that I'm in my 30s, it's the 50-year-olds. I can't wait to see who I have to fend off when I'm 40."
Her answer: "The answer to who you'll have to fend off when you're 40 is … practically no one."
I wrote to her telling her that I thought she was off base, revealed my age, that I had dated younger men before I was married and that younger guys still come on with me. Whoa! I got an answer so fast it made my head spin.
HERE IS HER E-MAIL TO ME:
OK. You’re still sexy. Thank you for pointing out how awesome you are. I’m 50 and doing fine, thank you very much.
What I seem to have gained and you have lost with age, however, is a sense of humor.
I WAS JOKING. Amy Dickinson
That really lit my fire, because if there is one thing I do, it's to look at life with a light heart. If I make statements that I think are funny but could possibly be taken in the wrong way, I also qualify that I'm kidding, so the person on the other end knows.
I immediately fired back an answer telling her that the point of my e-mail was
not to broadcast
how wonderful I am, but to let her know that she probably offended lots of women who may need something to bolster their confidence, not a statement like "practically no one." I asked why she couldn't have said something like "who knows...maybe the 30 year olds." That smacks of humor. Needless to say, I didn't get an answer .
Well, it tickled me no end today (June 17, 2010) to see her column. My sister alerted me to read it saying, "I guess you weren't the only one, Sis." It was immediately obvious I wasn't the only one who rattled her cage. I'll bet the first e-mail I got from her was a form e-mail that she sent to everyone who complained, or at least a version of it. Listen up, Amy! Judging by today's column, you DID insult a lot of women, but apparently all you're able to do is trot out that same "awesome" rant you used on me.
THE ITEM IN TODAY'S ASK AMY and it wasn't from me...
Dear Amy: I was seriously offended and disappointed by your response to "Experienced." When she wrote, "When I was 20, guys in their late 30s were mad for me. Now that I'm in my 30s, it's the 50-year-olds. I can't wait to see who I have to fend off when I'm 40," you replied, "The answer to who you'll have to fend off when you're 40 is … practically no one." Experienced may be fending off 20-year-olds when she is 40 for all that you know, especially since the "cougar" is now running rampant! I found this response to be mean and inconsiderate!
— Disappointed
AMY'S ANSWER
Dear Disappointed: Scores of angry "cougars" have pounced on me for my answer to "Experienced." All of these women want to assure me that age has only made them more awesome.
Ladies, I get it. I was making a joke. I may be the only middle-age woman who finds this "cougar" nonsense embarrassing.
<<<>>>
COME ON, AMY! Why don't you just admit that what you thought was funny wasn't very funny to the scores of women who sent you angry letters. You did insult them, plain and simple. According to your e-mail to me, you are 50. Are you not "awesome" enough for fellows in their twenties and thirties to give you admiring glances. I've seen your photo. You're a good looking woman, so are you too afraid of being labeled a "cougar" to look back? You know, you could just apologize and close the matter. IT WASN'T FUNNY.
What is embarrassing if an older woman is attracted to a younger man and vice versa? I know a very AWESOME couple who work with handicapped children and have improved the lives of thousands. After sixteen years of marriage they are still very much in love. WHOOPS. I forgot. She should be embarrassed. After all SHE IS SEVENTEEN YEARS OLDER THAN HIM. (Check out their website at
http://www.valleyviewvaulters.com/
So, dear readers, that's my rant for today. Care to comment?
ARLISS