I went through so many emotions when writing these two books, it made me step back and wonder "what if I really was this character?" This woman who progresses from terrified teen in A DREAM LOST to a talented woman in charge of herself, determined to get even for what happened to her, in THE DEVIL'S DUE. How would I have weathered the situations I placed Jen in?
Let's start at the beginning.
Somehow we think about horrible experiences as being what happens to other people...not us. But, when you are in the head of a character you've placed in peril, in my opinion, you have to feel what they feel to make them three dimensional. I don't know of a reader who likes learning about cardboard characters. Like an actress or actor, sometimes you have to think about things that happened to you to get in touch with how the character would be affected.
Someone once told me that reactions are strange things. You see someone trip, then fall. Inexplicably, you start to giggle. Why? Not because you thought it was funny, but because you are relieved it didn't happen to you. Think about that? Have you ever done it or something similar? I remember seeing a crash on the freeway and feeling almost giddy...it was their car, not mine.
So how you would really feel if you woke up in a strange room, couldn't move and realized that you were bound hand and foot. Couldn't call out because of the gag cutting into your mouth. Heart pounding, what do you do?
When I'd reached, oh probably the eighth or ninth draft...remember, I worked on this over a very long period of time...I read that first chapter aloud in a writer's group. One of the members said, "It's a good beginning. It grabs you, but you've got it wrong. I was kidnapped and one of the first things I did was move my fingers and toes to make sure they were there. Sounds strange, but it's what I did. I think she should do that somewhere in the first chapter, trying to get a grip on reality. Where is she? Why? Is everything in tact, or has she been hurt? Let the reader feel her terror."
Another member said, "I don't think she'd think in full sentences. Try short bursts. I think that's what I would do in that situation. Hell, I can't picture having the reasoning power to construct perfect sentences when panic is setting in."
I took their suggestions and went back to the drawing board again. Now A DREAM LOST starts like this:
CHAPTER 1
A door slamming makes one jump, but it doesn't make one afraid. What one fears is the serpent that crawls underneath it. Collette, Cheri
CHICAGO, NOVEMBER, 1956.
I didn’t care if I ever opened my eyes again. Had it really been a year? A whole year of forcing myself to go on? Images raced through my mind like the pictures in one of those flip books—the kind that look like they’re moving when the pages are fanned.
As each new image appeared, my feeling of terror built. They sped up, swirling faster and faster.
Flip. Flip. Flip.
Soon the sheet was drenched with perspiration. A non-stop string of panicked thoughts taunted me. Can’t breathe. Arms, legs. Hurt. Move, move. Paralyzed? Please God, not polio. Relax. Breathe. Nightmare. Where’s Mama? Work early? Breathe. Breathe. Judy still here?
Shout!
I tried to cry out, but my tongue slid around something wedged in my mouth, while hot tears welled in my eyes.
Concentrate!
I fixed on bits of dust clinging to a leafy design pressed into the plaster ceiling, thinking they looked like furry caterpillars ready to spin cocoons.
Flip. Flip. Flip.
The realization hit me like a sledgehammer. Not my ceiling! Not my room!
Well, that gives you a little taste of what's to come. The next post will discuss how I moved on from there.
---Arliss Adams
COMING IN 2010
A DREAM LOST
THE DEVIL'S DUE
Showing posts with label fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fiction. Show all posts
Friday, September 4, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
WHERE DID THE WEEK GO?
My goodness. In only twenty minutes it will be Saturday. Where did the time go? It seems like it was Monday a day or so ago. It's been one of those weeks when a lot was accomplished, and nothing was accomplished. One day fully wasted, trying to figure out what was going on with AOL, only to discover that once again they made a change without really letting subscribers know. Oh well, all's well that ends well, but they stole one of my days.
When I was writing the first draft of what was then "Dance Ballerina Dance," (now A DREAM LOST and THE DEVIL'S DUE) I didn't worry about the internet. It was around 1995, and e-mail was still something most people didn't have. The fax was the big thing. Right about that time, I was pulling together the pieces of a puzzle that would eventually become my first attempt at fiction.
I had the story of the kidnapped ballerina, I had some of what happened to her afterwards, but there were so many directions it could go. I just didn't know which fork in the road to follow. Finally I decided that I would use those first bits as the nucleus of the story. From there it could go anywhere my mind wanted it to, unlike writing magazine articles about specific things. I wouldn't have to adhere to the truth. I could create places, people, scenes, obstacles, triumphs and all of the other elements that make up a good fiction novel.
The problem was I'd never written fiction. I was an avid reader, but all of the nuances that I should have picked up from wonderful writers, skipped right past me. Oh, was I ever off base. First of all I thought it had to be big in order to sell it to an agent or publisher. How does 600 pages sound? Ridiculous for a first time fiction author--that's how it sounds to me now. But that was then. Use an outline, a time line, plotting sheets? Why? Just start to write. Let those creative juices flow.
Anyone reading this who is a seasoned writer, probably senses big problems on the horizon right about now. But did I know I was starting down a fourteen year road? You bet I didn't. "Probably knock it out in six months or so."--that's what I told myself, and told myself and told myself as months turned into years.
Over the next several posts, I'll talk about how Shawn (can't even remember the last name I gave her) became Jen Connor. And, how very much I learned from Jen.
That's it for tonight.
--Arliss Adams
When I was writing the first draft of what was then "Dance Ballerina Dance," (now A DREAM LOST and THE DEVIL'S DUE) I didn't worry about the internet. It was around 1995, and e-mail was still something most people didn't have. The fax was the big thing. Right about that time, I was pulling together the pieces of a puzzle that would eventually become my first attempt at fiction.
I had the story of the kidnapped ballerina, I had some of what happened to her afterwards, but there were so many directions it could go. I just didn't know which fork in the road to follow. Finally I decided that I would use those first bits as the nucleus of the story. From there it could go anywhere my mind wanted it to, unlike writing magazine articles about specific things. I wouldn't have to adhere to the truth. I could create places, people, scenes, obstacles, triumphs and all of the other elements that make up a good fiction novel.
The problem was I'd never written fiction. I was an avid reader, but all of the nuances that I should have picked up from wonderful writers, skipped right past me. Oh, was I ever off base. First of all I thought it had to be big in order to sell it to an agent or publisher. How does 600 pages sound? Ridiculous for a first time fiction author--that's how it sounds to me now. But that was then. Use an outline, a time line, plotting sheets? Why? Just start to write. Let those creative juices flow.
Anyone reading this who is a seasoned writer, probably senses big problems on the horizon right about now. But did I know I was starting down a fourteen year road? You bet I didn't. "Probably knock it out in six months or so."--that's what I told myself, and told myself and told myself as months turned into years.
Over the next several posts, I'll talk about how Shawn (can't even remember the last name I gave her) became Jen Connor. And, how very much I learned from Jen.
That's it for tonight.
--Arliss Adams
Monday, July 13, 2009
REALLY STARTING THE STORY
Okay, now I've filled you in on some of the motivations and challenges in writing A DREAM LOST and the DEVIL'S DUE. Where to begin? Where should the story really start? Should the opening recount what led up to the kidnapping in reality, or should it open with a strong fictional scene?
As a writer you must choose am opener that grabs the reader and leaves them wanting more. Action, unanswered questions, challenges...all good devices. The very first version didn't start there. It started way back in Jen's childhood, when she took her first ballet lesson. It stayed like that for years, describing the little girl's love for dancing, what the studio looked like, how her mother acted...you get the idea.
Well, again, if you were giving the account in a magazine article, that's what you might do. But this wasn't a magazine article, nor was it going to be reality. My vision for the book (it was one book at that time) was fiction inspired by a combination of real situations that happened to diverse people. These would all be melded into one person's life in the book. The more I learned about writing fiction, the more I realized that my opening chapters were dead wrong. In one of the versions, I don't remember which one, I made the bold move, although it hurt more than I can tell you, and cut the entire opening chapters of this enormous manuscript.
Elements were saved to use as memories or flashbacks, but they were given a paragraph or two of tight, emotional writing instead of a blow-by-possibly-boring- blow description of what really happened. The term "artistic license" comes to mind.
The more I'd let the manuscript get cold, and then re-read it, the more I knew I had to have an opening scene that wrenched your guts out. What could be more terrifying than waking up in a strange room, head fuzzy, only to discover that your hands and feet are bound. When you try to talk, you can't because of the gag in your mouth. That's how the opening scene was born. I had to be Jen. I had to be in that awful room mentally and feel the terror she felt. And I can truthfully say, I scared myself during that writing.
About three years ago, I read the chapter aloud in my writer's group. Unbelievably, one of the members actually had been kidnapped. My chapter, although gripping, still lacked some of what would really happen in the person's mind, in their reactions. So, after the meeting we chatted, and she told me what a person really would do in this situation--what she did and thought--and I used it. And, it worked.
More tomorrow.
--Arliss
As a writer you must choose am opener that grabs the reader and leaves them wanting more. Action, unanswered questions, challenges...all good devices. The very first version didn't start there. It started way back in Jen's childhood, when she took her first ballet lesson. It stayed like that for years, describing the little girl's love for dancing, what the studio looked like, how her mother acted...you get the idea.
Well, again, if you were giving the account in a magazine article, that's what you might do. But this wasn't a magazine article, nor was it going to be reality. My vision for the book (it was one book at that time) was fiction inspired by a combination of real situations that happened to diverse people. These would all be melded into one person's life in the book. The more I learned about writing fiction, the more I realized that my opening chapters were dead wrong. In one of the versions, I don't remember which one, I made the bold move, although it hurt more than I can tell you, and cut the entire opening chapters of this enormous manuscript.
Elements were saved to use as memories or flashbacks, but they were given a paragraph or two of tight, emotional writing instead of a blow-by-possibly-boring- blow description of what really happened. The term "artistic license" comes to mind.
The more I'd let the manuscript get cold, and then re-read it, the more I knew I had to have an opening scene that wrenched your guts out. What could be more terrifying than waking up in a strange room, head fuzzy, only to discover that your hands and feet are bound. When you try to talk, you can't because of the gag in your mouth. That's how the opening scene was born. I had to be Jen. I had to be in that awful room mentally and feel the terror she felt. And I can truthfully say, I scared myself during that writing.
About three years ago, I read the chapter aloud in my writer's group. Unbelievably, one of the members actually had been kidnapped. My chapter, although gripping, still lacked some of what would really happen in the person's mind, in their reactions. So, after the meeting we chatted, and she told me what a person really would do in this situation--what she did and thought--and I used it. And, it worked.
More tomorrow.
--Arliss
Sunday, July 12, 2009
OKAY, BACK TO WRITING THE TWO BOOKS
Sometimes when I think about how long it took to write A DREAM LOST and THE DEVIL'S DUE, I can't believe that much time has passed. During those years I've learned so much, and had so many new experiences, that I'm simply not the same person who began these two books by typing out thoughts on a word processor.
I say fourteen years, but it's actually been longer. I got my first computer around 1994 or 95. My preliminary notes were on a dinosaur called a word processor. For those of you who don't know what that it, it was basically a typewriter that had a little bit of memory. When you selected print, the keys would bang out the document automatically, like machine gun fire. I swear the next door neighbors probably thought there was murder and mayhem going on right under their noses. Well, yes, there was mayhem, but it was all on paper.
I was delighted that this Smith-Corona word processor had a little 3 1/2 inch disk that could actually store some of what I'd written. Anyway, back in those days, it was possible to save in a format that later could be read by a computer. That's how I know it was more than fourteen years, because I transferred the information on those disks to my computer when I got one. Without that, I never would have been able to rescue the original manscript after I'd put it down for two years, discouraged that it wasn't going the way I thought it would. Once it was on a computer, I was enthused again. Oh, I guess I could have retyped everything from the printed pages, but would I? It was so easy to put the disk in the computer and have it all done for me..
I was a workaholic back then, (as if I'm not now) and I'd sit down to write this "great American novel" after working fourteen or fifteen hours at my "real job". I'd tap away into the wee hours of the morning. The next day I'd read what I'd written, thinking it was brilliant. Oh yes, when I was done, the publishers would be bidding against each other to get their hands on this heart-wrenching novel. Except, they weren't. Why? Well, I gave you the answer before. I simply didn't know how to write fiction. The story premise was good...the author sucked. Better stick to magazine articles.
Still, I always say there is a benefit in most things. Sure, I'd written published magazine articles, but I definitely knew nothing about writing fiction. The work was professional in its presentation, but filled with information dumps and devices that work in articles, but have no place in fiction. It was not one of those books that grab you by the throat and won't let go until you've read all night, because you just had to find out what happened.
So what was the benefit? I got those thoughts out of my mind--down on paper. They became something tangible...something that I could tweak, cut, expand, edit and use as a training ground over many years. If I had never made that first step, it would still be in my mind. If I hadn't made that first step, I never would have studied my craft until I learned how to find the voice for my characters, learned to do a "machete edit", and make people care what happened.
It doesn't come overnight. But it can come. That's where I leave off tonight. Not exactly a cliffhanger, but there is so much more to tell...so much more to talk about...that every time I post I also have to decide when to stop.
Arliss
I say fourteen years, but it's actually been longer. I got my first computer around 1994 or 95. My preliminary notes were on a dinosaur called a word processor. For those of you who don't know what that it, it was basically a typewriter that had a little bit of memory. When you selected print, the keys would bang out the document automatically, like machine gun fire. I swear the next door neighbors probably thought there was murder and mayhem going on right under their noses. Well, yes, there was mayhem, but it was all on paper.
I was delighted that this Smith-Corona word processor had a little 3 1/2 inch disk that could actually store some of what I'd written. Anyway, back in those days, it was possible to save in a format that later could be read by a computer. That's how I know it was more than fourteen years, because I transferred the information on those disks to my computer when I got one. Without that, I never would have been able to rescue the original manscript after I'd put it down for two years, discouraged that it wasn't going the way I thought it would. Once it was on a computer, I was enthused again. Oh, I guess I could have retyped everything from the printed pages, but would I? It was so easy to put the disk in the computer and have it all done for me..
I was a workaholic back then, (as if I'm not now) and I'd sit down to write this "great American novel" after working fourteen or fifteen hours at my "real job". I'd tap away into the wee hours of the morning. The next day I'd read what I'd written, thinking it was brilliant. Oh yes, when I was done, the publishers would be bidding against each other to get their hands on this heart-wrenching novel. Except, they weren't. Why? Well, I gave you the answer before. I simply didn't know how to write fiction. The story premise was good...the author sucked. Better stick to magazine articles.
Still, I always say there is a benefit in most things. Sure, I'd written published magazine articles, but I definitely knew nothing about writing fiction. The work was professional in its presentation, but filled with information dumps and devices that work in articles, but have no place in fiction. It was not one of those books that grab you by the throat and won't let go until you've read all night, because you just had to find out what happened.
So what was the benefit? I got those thoughts out of my mind--down on paper. They became something tangible...something that I could tweak, cut, expand, edit and use as a training ground over many years. If I had never made that first step, it would still be in my mind. If I hadn't made that first step, I never would have studied my craft until I learned how to find the voice for my characters, learned to do a "machete edit", and make people care what happened.
It doesn't come overnight. But it can come. That's where I leave off tonight. Not exactly a cliffhanger, but there is so much more to tell...so much more to talk about...that every time I post I also have to decide when to stop.
Arliss
Saturday, July 11, 2009
ABOUT THE CONCEPT
Recently I watched a Dateline program about a teen who was kidnapped by someone she thought was a friend and then delivered to a house where she was raped repeatedly. The first thought that popped into my mind was, "It's still going on." They brought out the fact that for years and years girls have been kidnapped by people they knew and sold to so-called "white slavers". These girls aren't the ones who come to this country and literally work off their passage. They're American citizens who aren't any different than the teen who might live down the street from you.
I knew that the program wasn't far fetched, because the first little spark of an idea that eventually became the cornerstone of my book was actually inspired by a story not very different than the one on Dateline. But, the story I knew of happened about fifty years ago.
So, Jen Connor, the protagonist in "A Dream Lost", while a fictional character, could have been any of many girls who have lived through this horror, and some who didn't survive. As I created Jen, I knew she had to be naive, vulnerable and beautiful. She also had to have the ability to reach inside herself and find strength she didn't know she had, because without it she couldn't survive.
Every day I had different ideas for this story, but remember, I didn't know how to write fiction at the time. So I wanted to use every device, every cliche, every flowery bit of language my brain could create. Ah, the words and the story flowed, and I created more characters, never realizing what a hack job I was doing.
Jen started out as Shawn, and with every revision, every re-write, she had a new name. From Katherine, to Sandra, her names ran the spectrum until I settled upon Jeanette (a popular name of her era), with the nicknames of Jen and Jenny. The more I learned about the craft, the more she became a person to me. No longer a one-dimensional cardboard character, I really began to care about her and the torment she was going through.
I discovered that when I wrote Jen's scenes I felt her emotions and pain. Sometimes, I would be sitting at the computer crying as I wrote because a situation was so unbearable. People who have read the drafts must have felt what I did, because everyone became very protective of her. Would she make it? Would she survive? Quite frankly I wasn't sure myself.
In those days, I didn't write with a plot sheet or outline. I just sat down and wrote, so some of the things that happened were as much a surprise to me as they were to her.
Okay, that's where we leave off today. Watch for the next post.
--Arliss
I knew that the program wasn't far fetched, because the first little spark of an idea that eventually became the cornerstone of my book was actually inspired by a story not very different than the one on Dateline. But, the story I knew of happened about fifty years ago.
So, Jen Connor, the protagonist in "A Dream Lost", while a fictional character, could have been any of many girls who have lived through this horror, and some who didn't survive. As I created Jen, I knew she had to be naive, vulnerable and beautiful. She also had to have the ability to reach inside herself and find strength she didn't know she had, because without it she couldn't survive.
Every day I had different ideas for this story, but remember, I didn't know how to write fiction at the time. So I wanted to use every device, every cliche, every flowery bit of language my brain could create. Ah, the words and the story flowed, and I created more characters, never realizing what a hack job I was doing.
Jen started out as Shawn, and with every revision, every re-write, she had a new name. From Katherine, to Sandra, her names ran the spectrum until I settled upon Jeanette (a popular name of her era), with the nicknames of Jen and Jenny. The more I learned about the craft, the more she became a person to me. No longer a one-dimensional cardboard character, I really began to care about her and the torment she was going through.
I discovered that when I wrote Jen's scenes I felt her emotions and pain. Sometimes, I would be sitting at the computer crying as I wrote because a situation was so unbearable. People who have read the drafts must have felt what I did, because everyone became very protective of her. Would she make it? Would she survive? Quite frankly I wasn't sure myself.
In those days, I didn't write with a plot sheet or outline. I just sat down and wrote, so some of the things that happened were as much a surprise to me as they were to her.
Okay, that's where we leave off today. Watch for the next post.
--Arliss
Thursday, July 9, 2009
DREAMS CAN COME TRUE
More than fourteen years ago I had the idea for a romantic suspense novel. I knew absolutely nothing about writing fiction, although I had written many magazine articles. I thought a book had to be big to be published, so I kept writing and writing---no timeline, no real plotting, just an idea that kept growing and a manuscript that was bigger than War and Peace.
Well, I'd love to say it was an instant success but then they say there's a bridge in Brooklyn for sale for a good price, too. Just Kidding!! As one of my friends who had published thrillers said, "It's too long, it is filled with cliches, doesn't ring true--sorry, I don't think it will ever get published." And, it didn't.
It was rewritten, put aside, rewritten, worked through with a web critique group, rewritten, worked through with a writer's group, rewritten. I think you get the idea. Years passed and this book kept changing and changing. Still the same premise, but I was learning how to write tight fiction.
If you follow this blog, I'll be writing about what it took to finally be offered a contract after playing with this "dream of a book" for more than fourteen years, and giving insight into how some of the characters were born. Yep. That's right. It will be out sometime next year, as a set of two books. The first one is "A Dream Lost". Nope, it's not about my dream lost, because I finally found the right combination.
I'd like to share the some of the emotions that bubbled to the top while writing this, because in using personalities and traits of people who were very close to me, in many cases they became "composite people", it was like reliving incidents in my own life. Not those in the books. They are fiction. But, what inspired me to write them? Many writers dig down to personal experiences and then mold and shape them into the scene they are after. That's what I did.
That's all for today...
Arliss
Well, I'd love to say it was an instant success but then they say there's a bridge in Brooklyn for sale for a good price, too. Just Kidding!! As one of my friends who had published thrillers said, "It's too long, it is filled with cliches, doesn't ring true--sorry, I don't think it will ever get published." And, it didn't.
It was rewritten, put aside, rewritten, worked through with a web critique group, rewritten, worked through with a writer's group, rewritten. I think you get the idea. Years passed and this book kept changing and changing. Still the same premise, but I was learning how to write tight fiction.
If you follow this blog, I'll be writing about what it took to finally be offered a contract after playing with this "dream of a book" for more than fourteen years, and giving insight into how some of the characters were born. Yep. That's right. It will be out sometime next year, as a set of two books. The first one is "A Dream Lost". Nope, it's not about my dream lost, because I finally found the right combination.
I'd like to share the some of the emotions that bubbled to the top while writing this, because in using personalities and traits of people who were very close to me, in many cases they became "composite people", it was like reliving incidents in my own life. Not those in the books. They are fiction. But, what inspired me to write them? Many writers dig down to personal experiences and then mold and shape them into the scene they are after. That's what I did.
That's all for today...
Arliss
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